How to Be Authentic and Increase Trust in Your Marriage

https://youtu.be/pwhmj23ICuU

In many marriages, the question of “Who’s the boss?” is often a point of tension or confusion. You might recall the popular 1980s sitcom where the question was frequently asked—who really held the power in the relationship? Today, we’re diving into this concept, exploring how being the true, authentic version of yourself can drastically improve your marriage and trust between you and your spouse.

The Boss of You

Let’s start with a surprising answer to the question: You are the boss in your marriage. This might sound unusual, but hear me out. Being authentic, confident, and comfortable in your own skin is one of the most powerful ways to build trust and intimacy in your relationship. You’re not meant to be a passive passenger in your marriage; you’re meant to show up as the best version of yourself.

There’s a powerful scriptural foundation for this idea. In 2 Timothy 1:7, it says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” This is your reminder that authenticity comes from a place of confidence and peace. When you show up in your marriage from a place of personal security and truth, it has a profound impact on your relationship.

The Benefits of Authenticity

When you step into your authentic self, it relieves a significant amount of pressure from your spouse. They aren’t responsible for fulfilling all of your emotional or identity needs. While it’s wonderful when your spouse affirms you, the deepest source of your identity comes from God, not from your partner. This frees your spouse from feeling like they need to "complete" you, allowing them to show up more fully in the relationship.

Moreover, when you embrace authenticity, you allow your quirks and individuality to shine. This unique contribution is something no one else can provide, which only adds depth and richness to the marriage.

The Consequences of Inauthenticity

But what happens when you don’t show up as your true self? It causes stress, confusion, and chaos in the relationship. Not being authentic creates misalignment, which only adds unnecessary tension. If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, it’s going to be difficult to connect on an intimate level—especially when it comes to sexual intimacy. Feeling out of alignment can create extra challenges that are completely avoidable.

A Simple Strategy for Authenticity

So, how can you start showing up more authentically in your marriage? Here are three steps to get you started:

1. Determine Your Identity
   Your identity is rooted in God’s truth about you, and it’s important to understand this as your foundation. You don’t need to search for validation from others because God’s view of you is the most powerful and solid source of your self-worth.
2. Honor Your Value
   By embracing who you are, you can walk with confidence. Confidence is not just empowering for you, but it’s also an attractive quality in your marriage. When you’re confident, you show up as your best self, and that positively impacts your relationship.
3. Process Your Feelings
   Take time to acknowledge your emotions and give yourself the validation you need. Self-reflection and understanding your feelings allow you to be more grounded and present with your spouse. This process will jumpstart a more authentic way of showing up in your relationship.

The Power of Authenticity in Marriage

Showing up authentically in your marriage not only increases emotional connection but also paves the way for a more fulfilling and intimate relationship. When you are aligned with who you are and what you believe, your emotional and physical intimacy flows more freely, enhancing the bond you share with your spouse.

At the end of the day, God designed marriage to be a beautiful partnership where both individuals can be the best versions of themselves. By showing up authentically, you open the door to deeper intimacy, greater trust, and a lasting connection.

If you're ready to embrace the power of authenticity and unlock a deeper connection in your marriage, remember—confidence, self-awareness, and emotional honesty are key. Start today, and watch your relationship transform!